Winner Tatter
2nd Steve
3rd Paul
4th Andy
5th Sids
6th Andy 2
This months TPS action. In Haiku form.
Welcome Back Derek
Daz Get's Knocked Out Like Leeds
I'm Gutted. Says He
New Player Andy 2
Though He's Pissed Takes All The Chips
Bubble Boy John Again.
Winner H
2nd Chris
3rd Kev R
4th Andy
5th John
6th Kev Mc
"Kick him in the fucking eye!"
"Punch his legs out!"
"Stomp on his wrists!"
Such are the sounds of boozed up Britain on a Saturday night, when grown men, pissed up on drinks, eschew gentlemanly détente, and resort instead to blind ugly violence.
Luckily, we at the TPS are above such Neanderthal methods of conflict resolution. Not for us the elbow-to-the-throat or the shiv-to-the spine approach to slight settling of the general, ITV viewing, public. We choose instead a deck of cards and the poker table to settle our scores.
That said, it might have been the derelict Fight Club décor of host Johnny C's soon-to-be-sold house or the scorching April heat or (most likely) the vast amount of booze that was heartily swigged by the majority of the season-attendance-record-breaking 15 players that lead TPS 4 '07 to be the most fractious to date.
The warm weather even brought Kev Mc, Sean, H and Keith out of hibernation. It was looking like a long night, but Sids helped things along by going our early doors on table 2 (and promptly falling asleep).
"Hmm fggen guttrd" slurred Sids.
Jordan soon followed after going all in with a pocket pair of 5's. "I've got a bit of a cold" sniffed Jordan, Zammo-like.
Table 1, which had 6 previous TPS winners involved, was much tighter. Apart from Sean who couldn't wait to resort to his old tricks, going all in with just 3 chips in the pot. Everyone checked except Paul, who seemed tempted to take up the challenge, until finally folding his Ace-King. Sean showed a King-Ten Off, and promptly declared it a 'good fold' on Paul's part, much to the incredulity of The Entire World.
After what seemed an eternity but was more like 3 hours the final table got underway with the two Kevs, Chris, H, Andy and John (making it two final tables out of two on his home ground) taking part. The Ice Man was the first to 'melt' (sorry) and John and Kev R where soon battling it out for who had the shortest stack. The Riggler got down to 11 chips at one point and despite the fact he'd drunk enough wine to drown France, it was John who went out next, proving once again that you can check your way to a final table, but to stay there you actually have to win some hands.
Which is just what Chris was steadily doing, proving his 'Raise or Fold' tactics can work. Kev R meanwhile must have been seeing double through the vapours and started playing like all his cards where pairs. After Andy went out he was vying for second position from the normally bet-happy (and sober) H.
The fairy tale chip-rags to chip-riches finish was not to be as he soon succumbed to the ocean of wine he'd necked to finish a respectable, if incomprehensible 3rd. This left first time heads-up-ists Chris and H, with Chris having by far the most chips. Call it irony, call it common sense (call it with 5,10 off suite if it's the Masters*), but H struck a blow for temperance and won leaving the rest of the bleary eyed alconauts to rant and argue the night away amidst the booze fumes.
Winner Kev R
2nd Sids
3rd Steve
4th Dennis
5th Paul
6th Mark
It was an old school reunion night for the third game of the 2007 season at the spiritual home of TPS, Paul's house. With the return of old timers Graham, Dennis and Chris and Arcade Fire on in the background it was like the heady days of 2005 all over again.
Graham might have wished he'd stuck to patching up stab victims* as he was the first to flunk out loosing most of his chips by hoping that his pair of ducks would stand up after an all faces flop. Instead they lay sprawling on the ground, rapidly loosing blood like a just-knifed tourist on the 'Golden' Mile.
'I'm gutted' said Graham afterwards.
New meat Mark blagged everyone that he didn't know how to play and won table 1, picking up four of a kind 8's along the way.
Over on Table 2 things where somewhat slower, not surprising when Tatter 'The Tortoise' is involved but unfortunately his slow and steady approach didn't pay off this time. Bubble Boy John hoped to make his second final table in a row but instead carried on the retro theme of the evening by going out 4th after getting knocked out by Dennis.
As 1 am loomed the final table got under way and by ten past Mark was phoning a taxi. The rest battled it out into the small hours, eventually boiling down to a heads up between 'Mr Consistency' Sids and winner of TPS8 `05 Kev R.
Riggers won and took second spot on the All Time Leader Board from Tatter, closing the gap on top place Paul to just 14 points, and moving up to second place in the 2007 table, just 3 points from league leader Sids, the only player to point in every game this season so far.
* he's a paramedic (not a violent criminal)
Winner Sids
2nd John
3rd Jordan
4th Rob
5th Paul
6th Daz
The second of this seasons TPS's got off to a rip snorting start with the shock exit of former 2 time TPS triumphalist Andy in only the second hand. Andy, who was absent from TPS1 said "I'm Gutted".
Sids hit the 'house hand' four of a kind Queens, before the final table of Daz, John, Sids, Jordan Rob and Paul.
Daz was the first to take a dive, soon followed by Paul, making it an all round shit day for the Taylors's. Loose playing Rob and the normally hands oblivious Jordan followed, leaving Sids and John heads up. Never one to let a chip lead get in the way of humiliating defeat, John missed out on a masters place by folding his way out of the title. "I'm gutted", he said.
This left Sids, in only his 2nd TPS tournament, to become the Victorilator of TPS2 (07).
